the other day it was like this at the house - nick making hits in the music room, eva transcribing her grandmother's dreams, and me at the kitchen table reading kim gordon's autobiography, given to nick by steve summerlin, who'll be playing bass at the pre-fabled mink mussel creek show tomorrow night (TOMORROW NIGHT!) in the inland town of harvey.
this seemed like the real dream, the dream where great things are being made and great things consumed and all the thoughts are cool, interesting, productive, and you have a BIG SHOW to look forward to as well. and in a way, it is the real dream. a place where we can create, unmolested by fascists or nazis or tempests or being on dialysis machines. but i think deep down the real dream, at least for some of us, is to be acting to create the new world. expending every breath and moment in changing ourselves and the world around us into something that can let eternal creation continue, rather than destruction of the elements our species needs to keep on going; to be able to make rock music, literary hits, romances, political upheavals and gentle glacial movements on and on, on this same planet, with all the species to interact with including our own.
the phrases i keep saying in my own mind are: no identity politics on a dead planet; no feminism on a dead planet; cede power to plants. it seems like everyone's choosing easier things to get upset about than our own comfortable way of life, focussing on things other people need to change, rather than going for Really Big Things like saving the entire earth, that involve changing ourselves and fighting the powers and ideas that are destroying species, water, temperature. we are part of this, so it's easier to pick a fight elsewhere, the sexist, racist, fascist other.
really looking at our own lives and finding what's awry, and doing something about it - that's the true challenge that it seems hardly anyone - me included - is willing to take on.
anyway. one special world changing thing was last week, on a camp for kids with a parent in prison, tessa darcey aka akioka, and matt saville, aka matt sav/abalonely, came to do a music workshop. these were kids where some of them couldn't last ten minutes without a crisis of some kind - climbing roofs, ditching rocks, calling the people around them who care about them "fucking cunts", getting wild and crying because a game didn't go the way they wanted, tying their legs and arms with masking tape and telling stories about seeing their relatives really cutting into themselves. see, all the crisis comes from crisis. all the violence comes from violence. anyway - tessa and matt set up keyboards and percussion instruments and drum machines and harmonicas and ocarinas and a laptop and a sample pad and proceeded to be the instruments of these small kids' creations. they were just 8 or 9 or 10 years old, all out of whack from a whack life, but creating incredible songs. tessas eyes lit up as a tiny boy from northam who couldn't go to sleep at night because of bad thoughts, and still wet his pants, created an incredible ambient track on a beat machine. my eyes went big when a boy whose stories were like a horror movie made for the first time lyrics to a straight up great hiphop song, chopped, reversed and also left in original glory by tessa on the sampler. this was a changing moment in their existence, a long long moment to be inside music, music to be inside and emanating from them.
anyway. yes, we can do both. yes, fighting racism means first nations peoples and their connection to lands could take over the way things are organised to increase the possibility of human survival, yes, fighting misogyny might mean life or death for a woman with a partner who'd otherwise see her as less than himself. yes, all of this. but we also need to look deeper and further within our lives to find the places we're too scared to go, but have to go, if we want to have a chance for those kids and those kids' kids' kids to breathe, live, see every animal that now lives, listen to recordings of mink mussel creek's fabled camp doogs 2016 show. hm.