Fashion alien

Fashion alien

Melbourne is well known as a fashion centre, a hub if you will, where a plethora of small boutiques supply the hip youth of the city with uber-trendy clothes. Everyone knows this, and people often take advantage of it while visiting the city.

But I’ve started to notice the girls and guys who live here, those well dressed 19-30 year olds whose friends probably own those clothing stores… they don’t really look human anymore. In fact, they’re looking almost extraterrestrial.

Ridiculously tall and slim, well maintained pale or very evenly tanned skin, expressionless as they walk through the busy streets… it’s eerie.

If I spend a while watching (as I am inclined to do in a public place), I start to feel as if I am an explorer on another planet. Those waif-like figures drift through the city, with hair held high above their faces in loose buns atop their heads, hiding out in alleyways, sitting down for a coffee and a cigarette, perhaps a light salad, ignoring everything going on around them… before disappearing back into the city mists to be with their own kind.

I am hidden behind a stack of coffee cups and ashtrays, waiting to hear their oft-unheard voices. The first explorers of these parts believed that this sub-genus could not verbally communicate, as it was not until recently that there was any record of their kind being heard speaking.

Soon though, researchers began to show documentation that the tall, slim “fashionista” did indeed talk. It was found that they spoke softly, with a low tonal range. Speculation about the reason for this is varied, but the consensus of experts in the field is that their clothing choices are so highly considered, so well thought out, that very little energy is left for conversation during the rest of the day. They have developed the evolutionary tactic, fitting to the current consumer-culture climate, of letting their exterior speak for them.

It is interesting to note however, that information does flow quickly throughout their social circles, circles which sometimes stretch across the world. It is thought that the act of blogging, and the reading of blogs, help individuals receive the highly sort after “new trends” so as to remain accepted by those in their immediate surroundings. Their speedy access to new information ensures their survival, and the continuation of their species. They will continue to bless us with pleasing, similar aesthetics, and exclusive highly priced fashion boutiques, for as long as the internet exists.